am i a writer? I don’t know. I don’t always think so.
is it creative? I don’t think so.
it’s the rambling in my mind.
it’s the beast in my brain.
knocking, chattering, screaming, questioning.
images, thoughts, feelings, movements.
all of it.
until I don’t even know who or what I am anymore.
I love this bridge. I admire it. In all it’s beauty, strength, age and dilapidation.
I love it.
I compare it to a wise elder. experienced. open. used. tired. honest. endearing. humble. strong. jaded.
beautiful and beat.
I look forward to looking at it each and every time I pass by.
so much sadness and loss.
what draws this in? what energy or lesson?
all the pain and confusion. fear. anger.
makes me feel like I want to stay in my bubble.
I’m not always sure if I care.
I sometimes feel trapped amongst the living.
Out of place.
I’m not always sure if I belong here.
For strength. For self.
I’m still here.
flowing gracefully through water. going where the current takes you. no heart. no fear of being hurt. no brain. no memory of past pain or worry. beautiful. transparent. mesmerizing jellyfish.
so much has happened, so many changes. I was so ridden with anxiety and sadness. I look back at my entries on this blog and I can almost feel again how I felt then. I am so grateful for love and growth. I am back home in the city where I belong. Building a new life with my son, working, falling in love with a genuine and honest man. I love this city! I love my son!
embrace honesty, integrity, love, support, open hearts, innocence, healing, grace, kindness, comfort, care, growth, and purity.
protect the same.